So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
