you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize