I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
