someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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