I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
