you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
