between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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