That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
