Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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