Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
