I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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