the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
