hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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