I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
