For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
