You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
