If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
