i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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