the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
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