Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
