how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Blood and glitter go together right?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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