alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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