so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
