how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
