you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
