It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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