put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
