I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize