Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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