All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
