I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
