why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
