$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You can't motorboat a personality
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
