like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
third nipple confirmed
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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