So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
