i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
