The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
