where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
