Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
