And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
