At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
