it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
