Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
