Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
