All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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