Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
