whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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