Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
