Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize