At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize