So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
