he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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