a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
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