For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
