You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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