You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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