we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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