I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize