Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
