After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
