ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
