just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
