Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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