i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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