please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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