so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think I won the penis lottery.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
