also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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