Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
