So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
