I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize