epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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